Small State Small Fort
What an incredible state. Ths little guy comes with everything. Rich (Newport), poor (Central Farms), beaches, farms, harsh winters, ebullient summers, zigs, zags. Fun fact: it is the smallest state with the longest name. The ‘State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations’. What a two-timing, dubious bastard of a place, huh. Pat yourself on the back for not disclosing that ‘plantation’ part on the map, Rhode Island.
Just like any other King George III-loathing state of our 13 colonies, Rhode Island also hosts an abandoned fort. Every state has one. Where blood was once shed now lies a graffitied mural of ‘Pepe the Frog’. Babies have replaced sacrifices in terms of what is now made there. Smoke once from muskets is now coming off the end of some bunk hash. Father Franklin would be most proud.
Now the stomping grounds of anyone who shops at Spencer’s Gifts unironically, Fort Wetherill is also home to some stunning views. In fact, there are more views there than this entire blog has ever received. Right on the craggy coast of Jamestown, R.I., this fort sits on the southeastern tip of Conanicut Island.
This 8-gun-guarded fort is a beautiful spot to watch a sunset paint the sky. Real Bob Ross contenders, except these are no happy accidents. Just happy endings. Any first date here at sunset with a KFC 16 pc. ‘Chicken Only’ bucket is sure to find themselves at the altar exchanging vows. Most likely a Chapel O’ Love, though. Maybe an Elvis impersonating priest.
A Juvenile's Canvas
If the outside is the Garden of Eden, then the inside is the Garden of Gethsemane. For any sinners that didn’t read the Bible (King James Edition) cover to cover, just pretend I said, “good then bad.”
The stairs descend into a corridor that can, at times, look darker than hell itself even on the sunniest of days. Once inside, a little more natural light begins to seep through. It’s mostly nonsensical graffiti on the inside, save a few colorful slurs tastefully sprinkled throughout.
The real artwork is on the outside. The shell of this fort dons a couple pieces of D.C. Comics artwork: the Superman symbol and the Lantern Corps. An idea sprung into my mind after first laying my eyes on these.
How cool would it be for a gaggling of nerds to begin a Marvel v. D.C. fight club here.
In 2013, it would have been an exceptional fight. The arena. The pageantry. The lack of authoritative figures. But after seeing both franchises now, I think to myself, who is going to clean up all this adult spit-up and vomit?
The History Of
Named after Alexander Macomb Wetherill, this fort is no stranger to ghostly apparitions and hauntings. Its macabre history is one that spans back all the way to World War I.
Haunted Hound
The first reporting of a ghastly apparition was not even one that was once human. Soldiers from WWI reported seeing a black dog with red eyes prowling the tunnels, and then watching as it disappeared into the walls. They believed that hearing the growl was a bad omen, and if it were to look at you, then death was near.
Even in 2023, people have reported hearing the growls and howling of Cujo’s great-grandfather. There is no origin story for this hellhound. I imagine it was probably Brother Bear’s guide of the Narragansett tribe. Their cemetery for his pet was then demolished, and Fort Wetherill was erected upon ancient tribal grounds.
Stephen King’s ‘cease & desist’ is being overnighted to me as I type this.
A COld Case
With no correlation whatsoever, Marty McFly of Back to the Future would be desperate not to know his own mother biblically and get back to the year 1985, the same year as this tragedy.
All in their early twenties, four young women were found murdered. Their bodies were dumped by the docks. There is not much more info or conclusions on these grisly events, which is eerie in itself.
Ghosts Not Ghouls
The most common of sightings are the apparitions of soldiers still walking throughout the fort. This strikes me as the least surprising of the three events. It doesn’t take a South American ayahuasca trip to see ghosts these days. They’re as common as a pregnancy in India. Of course there are ghost soldiers at an abandoned military fort. Land a kickflip off the Superman symbol of hope. Then I’ll be impressed.